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♥ Saturday, October 23, 2010

its been a while since my last post.. everytime i post, its always when i feeling very sad... this week, i get so angry with my darling.. n i told him tat i wanna break with him.. he say's m i sick n tired of him.. i was so angry n replied.. yes... than he say okay lets break... i tot he will be lik saying no like he use to be... but he did not... i cried.. and waited for him to be home at nite. n talk to him to tell him tat i did not wanna break... but he went out with his frens. til very 12 +.. and i waited for him.. i cry n could not reach him. as he told me tat his handphone was with his fren.. when i finally reach him, he was so happy n say yes?? my hp going low bat. wat u wanna say faster say.. i cried on the phone.. but he did not say anything.. after tat we hung up.. i told him to go hm straight.. but he dun not even reply .... after 12, i called him.. he pick up.. n say later he call me.. but he did nt.. so i called him again.. n we talk for awhile... in the end, we back together again... but frm the very moment, i feel tat he is different frm how he use to treat me.. i told him... he told me tat he will treat me like he use to be... so friday we meet a while n eat.. i was so happy to see him... we walk hm together.. i felt so happy... i tot tat we will be like how we use to be again... at nite when i went online, i realise tat he had actually change his msn pic n nick... usually he will put or photo n says he love me.. but he nev.. i ask him.. he told me i also nev put mah.. i change our photo was a few weeks back already.. and i told him tat now u online y u nev change back.. than he change back.. n i jus tell him tat.. now u wanna put or dun wanna put also nvm.. coz i not going put anymore... i jus can't believe tat after i say break up, he acutally change his pic.. and i had nev change or even take out our ring.. i felt so sad... he called me later.. i was so up sad tat i did not talk to him... then next morning, he msg me in the morning.. i replied him.. but he reply me very long.... tml i going to celebrate his mum birthday... but now im still so sad... even though i have him, i dun think im still in the first place of his heart like i use to be before.... i jus dun wish tat he is lying to himself of lovin me.. feel lik asking him tml am i still in the same place like i use to be in the past.. because... wat ever he do now, makes me feel like im not tat important at all... felt so sad.. kept crying... all is my fault... i think i really dun deserve him at all... and i will nev learn frm the mistake which says...  " once u lose something, u will nev get it back anymore'' this is wat im feeling now....feeling tat his frens is more important me nw...:(

♥ I LOVE YOU DARLING @
10/23/2010 08:43:00 PM